Hello, I'm an update
Jun. 13th, 2010 10:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
summer_skinAll right. So it's been about five days since I admitted to myself and other people that I'm a food addict. I was surprised at how many comments I got on the post, especially from people I don't think I've ever talked to. I'm happy about that and I really feel it'll help keep me accountable. Here's hoping it'll keep going like this!
I've been doing okay in the junk food department, I think. I haven't broken down and had ice cream, candy, cookies, etc. I did have some chips on Friday as work brought in lunch for us but I only had a couple handfuls.
I'm tempted tonight to have a homemade snickers bar I stored in the freezer but I'm holding strong so far. I gave some to the family earlier this week but didn't have any myself while they were in my hands, so that's something. I'll have some yogurt and maybe a package of the Mr. Christie's 100 calorie chocolate covered pretzels.
I've been relatively successful at avoiding places where I would be tempted to give in. Although I can't avoid these places forever. Last night I went to the movie store that's going out of business (tried to buy 6 old movies [as in at least 3 years or way more] and the total came to over $70! WTF?! As it was I bought Jeepers Creepers because I figured it was there so whatever but I checked the HMV website and it's $2 less BRAND NEW!! I got HOSED!) and as I was standing in the line waiting and waiting and motherfucking waiting for the guy at the till to help the ONE couple in front of me I was surrounded by chips and chocolate and other candy. It felt like every time my eyes settled on something I had to mentally slap myself to not reach for something.
I haven't said anything to anyone in my real life because there are things I feel comfortable talking about out loud and things I'm not. The family I live with wouldn't really understand. Not that they wouldn't get the concept, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't take it seriously. But not in a negative way. More in a ... we don't get it way. I don't know. I also don't want to talk to the girls at work because, as I said in my previous post, my supervisor is one of those food psychos who won't even eat a donut without complaining about how much extra work she'll have to do to work it off.
I think where I am right now is that I'm not going to work on changing my diet 100% because it's just too overwhelming and the last time I tried to monitor and change everything I slid off the wagon hardcore. So right now I'm focusing on eliminating the junk food out of my diet. The ice cream, chocolate bars, the chips, cookies, etc, etc. All the stuff that I gravitate toward the most. I'm trying to choose different things in their place in the meantime. Gradually I'd like to start introducing more awareness of calorie and fat intake and so forth but for now I'm going to keep that part on the backburner because the caloire counting and keeping track of it all makes me not care.
I have already gotten rid of added salt in my diet, over the last six months or so, so that's a little less to worry about.
It's the fleeting thoughts like, "get pizza after work" or "Go for a walk and get ice cream", etc, that I need to overcome right now. I also don't want to eliminate some things and substitute them with others but more of them. Like having three packages of the chocolate pretzels instead of some ice cream or something. So far I've been okay but I can't guarantee I'm going to be able to keep things up so well.
I also have to work on portion control and not eating when I'm obviously not hungry. Like right now. I am NOT hungry but I kind of want something sweet. The yogurt or the pretzels or something. I ate far too much at supper so now it's settling and making me feel even more full but I can't help but think about the next thing I want to eat, how I'm going to "finish" off the day.
Anyway. I am keeping track of what I eat every day. I'm keeping it electronically but so far I'm not making note of the portions or anything just because that was one of the reason why I stopped doing it to begin with. It was too hard to keep track of and everything's in different sizes and portions, especially when I usually try to eat in the middle of helping customers at the counter, answering the phone, booking ads, etc. So I HAVE kept track of everything I've eaten since Wednesday and I'm keeping them in a folder on my computer.
Tomorrow night there's a Food Addicts Anonymous meeting. It's a bit of a drive across the city and it's at 7pm. I'm still on the fence about going. Part of me wants to, to have that extra layer of support, but part of me's not sure about going, especially because of the basis of the group. I could go, for sure, to see what it IS like and if it's something that I think would work for me. I guess it'll depend on how I feel tomorrow after work.
The goal updates:
01) Eat more fruits and veggies This one... I can't say I've made any progress on this since Wednesday. My f&v intake of late has been abysmal so anything would help it. I've taken the step to have some carrots and broccoli, cucumbers and tomatoes and apples in the house so that's something. I don't know why I find this particular food group hard to keep on top of.
02) Stop eating junk This has been the most successful so far, I think, especially in comparison to how I was eating before I put my foot down. I need to keep this up. This is the first mountain I'm climbing so I want to get this one under control ASAP. It's also going to be one of the hardest because I love sugar.
03) Out of sight, out of mind. I had a bag of chips and cookies in my room. The cookies were going stale anyway when I tossed them last week. I crushed all the chips that were left in the bag (and it was one of those Costco bags) so it would be too messy and stupid to eat anyway. I still have some frozen yogurt in the freezer but it's been in there for months and I haven't touched it. I'm going to get rid of it, I just haven't yet. There's the homemade snickers in the freezer, as well, and I've abstained from those thus far, even though they're in my mind. I'm hoping the family will eat them all on me. I kind of refuse to throw those out since it was a bit of money to buy all the ingredients and they were a semi-pain in the ass to make.
04) A counter measure to cravings I have thus far been able to mentally slap my hand and say, "NO", so I haven't done anything just yet about the cravings.
05) Start weighing myself regularly and recording it I finally weighed myself today. I haven't had a chance to yet this week since the family keeps the scale in their bedroom. I have an iphone app to track my weight, goal weight and carbs. My first goal is 7 pounds. I don't have a time goal in mind for when I want to lose it. I guess I'll see in a few days how things are going and continue from there. I've had a lot of water today and I'm going to start my period so I could be bloated and I weighed myself after I ate. I might try again tomorrow, depending on if I can get to the scale.
06) Lose weight See above.
07) Don't be afraid to talk about things I haven't said anything to anyone in my real life yet. So you people, here on LJ, are the only ones who really know I've admitted this and have started to do something about it.
08) Look into seeing a counselor/therapist I haven't had a chance to look into this yet, hoenstly. It seems like as soon as I go to work every thought about calling someone flies out of my head. I want to work on this, though.
09) Food diary I have done this! At the end of each day I write down what I ate for each meal. I'm not tracking calories and fat just yet because it's too overwhelming. But it'll be easier to track patterns this way.
10) Plan ahead I have not done this yet. I'm lazy in the evenings and buy stouffers dinners for lunch.
11) Spend more money on the right things. I guess I've done this? I dunno. I'll see how this goes over the course of a little longer.
12) No excuses I have been honest with myself this week, I think. I have to be.
13) Be happy This is one of those long-term things that I can't comment on after five days.
so there's the state of things right now. I'll update again in a few days with how I continue to do.
I've been doing okay in the junk food department, I think. I haven't broken down and had ice cream, candy, cookies, etc. I did have some chips on Friday as work brought in lunch for us but I only had a couple handfuls.
I'm tempted tonight to have a homemade snickers bar I stored in the freezer but I'm holding strong so far. I gave some to the family earlier this week but didn't have any myself while they were in my hands, so that's something. I'll have some yogurt and maybe a package of the Mr. Christie's 100 calorie chocolate covered pretzels.
I've been relatively successful at avoiding places where I would be tempted to give in. Although I can't avoid these places forever. Last night I went to the movie store that's going out of business (tried to buy 6 old movies [as in at least 3 years or way more] and the total came to over $70! WTF?! As it was I bought Jeepers Creepers because I figured it was there so whatever but I checked the HMV website and it's $2 less BRAND NEW!! I got HOSED!) and as I was standing in the line waiting and waiting and motherfucking waiting for the guy at the till to help the ONE couple in front of me I was surrounded by chips and chocolate and other candy. It felt like every time my eyes settled on something I had to mentally slap myself to not reach for something.
I haven't said anything to anyone in my real life because there are things I feel comfortable talking about out loud and things I'm not. The family I live with wouldn't really understand. Not that they wouldn't get the concept, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't take it seriously. But not in a negative way. More in a ... we don't get it way. I don't know. I also don't want to talk to the girls at work because, as I said in my previous post, my supervisor is one of those food psychos who won't even eat a donut without complaining about how much extra work she'll have to do to work it off.
I think where I am right now is that I'm not going to work on changing my diet 100% because it's just too overwhelming and the last time I tried to monitor and change everything I slid off the wagon hardcore. So right now I'm focusing on eliminating the junk food out of my diet. The ice cream, chocolate bars, the chips, cookies, etc, etc. All the stuff that I gravitate toward the most. I'm trying to choose different things in their place in the meantime. Gradually I'd like to start introducing more awareness of calorie and fat intake and so forth but for now I'm going to keep that part on the backburner because the caloire counting and keeping track of it all makes me not care.
I have already gotten rid of added salt in my diet, over the last six months or so, so that's a little less to worry about.
It's the fleeting thoughts like, "get pizza after work" or "Go for a walk and get ice cream", etc, that I need to overcome right now. I also don't want to eliminate some things and substitute them with others but more of them. Like having three packages of the chocolate pretzels instead of some ice cream or something. So far I've been okay but I can't guarantee I'm going to be able to keep things up so well.
I also have to work on portion control and not eating when I'm obviously not hungry. Like right now. I am NOT hungry but I kind of want something sweet. The yogurt or the pretzels or something. I ate far too much at supper so now it's settling and making me feel even more full but I can't help but think about the next thing I want to eat, how I'm going to "finish" off the day.
Anyway. I am keeping track of what I eat every day. I'm keeping it electronically but so far I'm not making note of the portions or anything just because that was one of the reason why I stopped doing it to begin with. It was too hard to keep track of and everything's in different sizes and portions, especially when I usually try to eat in the middle of helping customers at the counter, answering the phone, booking ads, etc. So I HAVE kept track of everything I've eaten since Wednesday and I'm keeping them in a folder on my computer.
Tomorrow night there's a Food Addicts Anonymous meeting. It's a bit of a drive across the city and it's at 7pm. I'm still on the fence about going. Part of me wants to, to have that extra layer of support, but part of me's not sure about going, especially because of the basis of the group. I could go, for sure, to see what it IS like and if it's something that I think would work for me. I guess it'll depend on how I feel tomorrow after work.
The goal updates:
01) Eat more fruits and veggies This one... I can't say I've made any progress on this since Wednesday. My f&v intake of late has been abysmal so anything would help it. I've taken the step to have some carrots and broccoli, cucumbers and tomatoes and apples in the house so that's something. I don't know why I find this particular food group hard to keep on top of.
02) Stop eating junk This has been the most successful so far, I think, especially in comparison to how I was eating before I put my foot down. I need to keep this up. This is the first mountain I'm climbing so I want to get this one under control ASAP. It's also going to be one of the hardest because I love sugar.
03) Out of sight, out of mind. I had a bag of chips and cookies in my room. The cookies were going stale anyway when I tossed them last week. I crushed all the chips that were left in the bag (and it was one of those Costco bags) so it would be too messy and stupid to eat anyway. I still have some frozen yogurt in the freezer but it's been in there for months and I haven't touched it. I'm going to get rid of it, I just haven't yet. There's the homemade snickers in the freezer, as well, and I've abstained from those thus far, even though they're in my mind. I'm hoping the family will eat them all on me. I kind of refuse to throw those out since it was a bit of money to buy all the ingredients and they were a semi-pain in the ass to make.
04) A counter measure to cravings I have thus far been able to mentally slap my hand and say, "NO", so I haven't done anything just yet about the cravings.
05) Start weighing myself regularly and recording it I finally weighed myself today. I haven't had a chance to yet this week since the family keeps the scale in their bedroom. I have an iphone app to track my weight, goal weight and carbs. My first goal is 7 pounds. I don't have a time goal in mind for when I want to lose it. I guess I'll see in a few days how things are going and continue from there. I've had a lot of water today and I'm going to start my period so I could be bloated and I weighed myself after I ate. I might try again tomorrow, depending on if I can get to the scale.
06) Lose weight See above.
07) Don't be afraid to talk about things I haven't said anything to anyone in my real life yet. So you people, here on LJ, are the only ones who really know I've admitted this and have started to do something about it.
08) Look into seeing a counselor/therapist I haven't had a chance to look into this yet, hoenstly. It seems like as soon as I go to work every thought about calling someone flies out of my head. I want to work on this, though.
09) Food diary I have done this! At the end of each day I write down what I ate for each meal. I'm not tracking calories and fat just yet because it's too overwhelming. But it'll be easier to track patterns this way.
10) Plan ahead I have not done this yet. I'm lazy in the evenings and buy stouffers dinners for lunch.
11) Spend more money on the right things. I guess I've done this? I dunno. I'll see how this goes over the course of a little longer.
12) No excuses I have been honest with myself this week, I think. I have to be.
13) Be happy This is one of those long-term things that I can't comment on after five days.
so there's the state of things right now. I'll update again in a few days with how I continue to do.
