and we frolicked about

I was just looking through my icon folder which, of course, has hundreds (literally) of unposted icons because I'm partly lazy and partly weird. Mostly lazy. But mostly weird.

Anyhoo. So I was checking the dates on some of them and the earliest one I found of the ones I checked was from JUNE of TWO-THOUSAND AND NINE. aokdhaoihaodihad.

SERIOUSLY?

That means I'm going to be posting some fucking old icons this week, I guess.

This icon is new, though. Damn, I enjoy making animated icons. Stupid size limits, though.

In other news I mandolin'd a good chunk of my thumb off Saturday night (mom said there was some "meat" to it) when I was slicing a sweet potato so now I'm kinda doing everything one-handed. I almost barfed yesterday while it was gushing (which isn't like me but I chalked up to just being in shock since it's a rather bad cut) but also this morning when mom changed the bandage for me and the reaction was even WORSE. She had to get me a chair and bucket, I had to close my eyes and I was sweating like a pig but my face felt like ice.

WTF, self?!

I haven't even properly washed it yet because I was scared it would start bleeding again today so that'll be my daring thing in the morning before I wake mom up to re-bandage me. Because I'm a pussy who needs her mommy. Also, it's hard to bandage yourself with one hand.

One more day, yo! It hasn't even been a bad week, I just want it to be over.

I'm feeling a bit of seasonal gloom creeping in. We're in the last week and I'd like to stay above board as much as possible but right now I'm kind of sinking a bit, feeling the overwhelming nature of the holiday and also the hollowness of it all. I don't have too much money to spend so I can't get what I would like for people, although I'm happy with what I HAVE gotten for them so far. I guess I just find this time of year even more frustrating because there's so much stuff I want but, again, I'm po. So then I just gaze wistfully and keep content with what I do have. I'd be just as happy with nothing for Christmas but for my mom to find a job, truthfully.

Onto better things.

Day 1: enablelove
Day 3: fuckyeahshelly
Day 4: jocosa
Day 6: marcasite
Day 7: hauntes
Day 8: singingrl
Day 10: medie
Day 12: girlfmkitty
Day 13: theladyoffaerie
Day 14: kashmir1

( Darren Hayes )

My mom surprised me and put the tree up herself today. We've been having some quiet wars about the decorating of it for a few weeks now. I like "theme" trees. This year I've been determined to have a green, pink and gold tree. Mom likes coloured lights and by the time I got home added some to our white pre-lit tree. We compromised, somewhat by moving the coloured ones more into the middle. I feel SORT OF bad because it's just a Christmas tree but I have a theme, dammit. I like theme trees. Next year we can colour the shit out of it.

Anyhoodle. First world problems and all.

Day 1: enablelove
Day 3: fuckyeahshelly
Day 4: jocosa
Day 6: marcasite

( Kelly and Seth/Kelly )

I already have so much stuff on my DVR that I haven't gotten around to watching yet. Revenge, Prime Suspect, Big Bang Theory, Community, Ringer, I haven't watched last week's The Soup yet... Jeez. I'm going to watch Community before bed tonight and hopefully the rest over the weekend.

New girl, S, continues to do well. She's so quite, not very outgoing but she's nice and she's learning. That's the best thing we can ask for at this point.

My mom is taking a course to get the paperwork that says she knows everything she already does from on the job training over 25 years and she's applying to get EI to pay for it (since she hasn't trained for anything in almost as long as she was at her last company back home). It seemed like she was approved yesterday but today she got a call from whoever is reviewing her app and was informed that they had called her last (only) employer since she moved out here and that person told them that she had quit the job due to medical reasons and said something about her inability to handwrite (my mom has terrible handwriting and I think she's embarrassed by it so she has to write slow to write even semi-legible, it's just who she is), etc. So this could potentially have her application rejected so she's pretty damn pissed. Because that's NOT why she quit the job. She quit because her boss was a fucking psychopath who demeaned her, gossiped about EVERYONE, was rude and expected miracles out of her staff. She has ONE person who has stayed with the company for 10 years. She's had about five personal assistants in the past 2 years and the last one only stayed two weeks.

We're hoping that the woman will understand from what my mom implied that this woman is crazy and there's a reason why mom left the job. How pathetic do you have to be in the adult phase in your life to be so deluded and vicious that you could ruin someone else's chance at excelling at life. I mean, it's one thing to not actively support someone for whatever reason, but to blatantly lie in a way that could take away the chance for someone to do something so basic in life... jesus.

I also have ANOTHER med to try to help me sleep at night. Woo.

Going to start posting some stuff to my new icon community, rockstar_pink this weekend including, hopefully, some The Secret Circle icons. Come check it out and watch if you like what you see!

( 102 - Bound )

* 1280x720 caps
* Uploaded to my own personal site.
* Comment and credit if taking/using.
* The biggie- NO HOTLINKING. Don't be a bastard and make me replace my sample caps with a bright and gaudy "I'm a thief, ask me how!" message.
* DO NOT RE-UPLOAD THESE CAPS (OR ANY OF MY CAPS) TO FANPOP!!!!

TSC 102 set 1 (305 caps ~ MB) // TSC 102 set 2 (305 caps ~ MB) // TSC 102 set 3 (307 caps ~ MB) // gallery

( 102 - Bound )

( I gotta get this work shit out )

Um, if anyone actually sat through that whole thing I owe you an icon or something, for serious. I could go on forever about this crap.

In other news my mom has finished the job she hates because they finally hired for her position AND the front desk position (front desk quit right when mom's position was filled so that person did front desk because mom was trained and the boss refuses to let anyone but herself train for that position--the woman is crazy) so she's happier but now she needs to find a NEW job and that stresses me out. Like, I know mom didn't want to be in her old job and it stressed HER out but at least she was making money, you know? The world economy makes me a bit on edge when thinking about mom's job situation because I want her to a) find a job and b) not get laid off a few months later because everyone's poor and shit's gone south.

MY grand scheme to take my mind off it all? Take next Friday off to shop. Priorities, I has them. I have decided I'm going to drive us to Cross Iron Mills mall (in Balzac and yes, it is pronounced like you think it is) but I'm taking a roundabout way that won't take me through Calgary because I CANNOT. If I survive this maybe I'll next try to make it into Calgary so I can go to Old Navy.

I only want to go to Old Navy because FLARED JEANS ARE BACK. Words can't express. I hate that fashion trends change so much from season to season that you can't find something you LOVED and fit great just because some hoity toit in France decided skinny jeans are the rage next year.

( TW 106 - The Middle Men )

* 1280x720 caps
* Uploaded to my own personal site.
* Comment and credit if taking/using.
* The biggie- NO HOTLINKING. Don't be a bastard and make me replace my sample caps with a bright and gaudy "I'm a thief, ask me how!" message.
* DO NOT RE-UPLOAD THESE CAPS (OR ANY OF MY CAPS) TO FANPOP!!!!

Torchwood 406 set 1 (203 caps ~ 16.2) // Torchwood 406 set 2 (383 caps ~ 27.8) // gallery

( 406 - the Middle Men )

So, um. Hi.

It's been a while since I've posted, it would seem. I check LJ every day and have been commenting here and there. I've also been on Twitter and Tumblr, of course, which seems to be par for the course with a lot of people and the biggest part of the reason LJ has been dying of late.

I've also changed my name. Again, HI! Marishna is now summer_skin. I've had the same name since 2003 when I joined LJ and before that when I started poking into fandom on the internet but I'm ready for a change. I'm hoping this will be a change for the better, towards being more active on LJ and in fandom and just all around. An unfortunate side effect of my depression has been a decline in interest in... well, anything, so I'm trying to re-harness a feeling of belonging and a desire to be involved.

I also changed my email address. Partly out of a need for change and partly because it seems Yahoo is doing sketchy stuff with their email and I really don't like their new email look/function.

On Twitter I am Summer__Skin.
On Tumblr I am Summer--Skin.
My email is now our.summerskin @ gmail.com. I guess that would be my gtalk thingie as well? I'm not very well versed in Gtalk or Gmail messenger or whatever. School me!

--> My mom has moved out, we've settled in and things are going okay, actually. She has a job she hates and is on the search for a new one. Fingers crossed!
--> I bought a new bed! Paid more than what I did for the cheapo one I got last October and just gave it away to get it out of the house. New bed is awesome. Love it. Was a bit of a decision between a new bed and an ipad, though, at the end of it, but I chose right. Next BIG purchase will be an ipad, I think.
--> Watched and loved Game of Thrones. I only started watching it in the beginning cause everyone was losing their shit over it starting but I didn't think I'd like it. WRONG! Totally did and am now reading the first book to get more clarification about the characters and events. GoT season 2--Y U SO FAR AWAY?!
--> Watched X-Men: First Class, which I also didn't think I'd like THAT much. I did. Not FANDOM like but I enjoyed it, for sure. Way better than the first ones and I'd love to see more from that era/style/verse.
--> Gracie is doing wonderful. She and the dog are getting along although they can't quite meet up on playing. Gracie doesn't get it when Gia wants to play and Gia backs away when Gracie tries to cuddle with her. So we'll see.
--> Work is going well. The newest girl in the department is pretty much hopeless. As I told my boss last week, I like her has a friend and neighbour (house mom and I moved into is right next to new girl) but I fucking hate her as a co-worker. She's just so... She doesn't GET it. And she's been in the department since October!
--> Depression is coming along. It's all still definitely there and I'm still on anti-depressants but I'm feeling better.
--> Weight isn't the best but I'm kinda trying. I want to exercise and am out walking and running (for about 30 seconds, ngl) and whatnot. I'm TRYING to try, I guess.
--> Had a bone scan done that was ordered by a pain management specialist, which came back good (meaning no arthritis or anything wrong with my bones causing the pain) and next is an MRI in September. If it doesn't show anything I don't know what that means for my claim or what the next step is. I guess it just means my pain is chronic for the rest of my life and I'm not really sure what to do or where to go from there. Stupid claim caps on soft tissue damage!
--> I don't know if I'm going to be capping much this summer. I haven't even finished watching the first half of season 6 of Doctor Who (I feel like I'm the only person ever to really dislike Matt Smith and Eleven and where the show has been going), I haven't finished watching season 4 of Primeval and was completely blindsided when season 5 started (so I haven't watched any of that, either) and nothing else has really caught my fancy enough to cap the shows yet. I've also been feeling like the fandoms I'm involved in don't have a lot of participation or that people are taking my caps and not commenting. I've become a bit disgrunteled with putting all the work into creating, uploading and hosting the caps that people either don't care about or don't comment on so I either have to move past that or only cap for myself now, honestly. Sharing caps isn't like sharing icons or fic, imo.

I have also made icons. I have posted the final batch of Supernatural icons that have been sitting in my folder for a LONG-ASS TIME.

22 x Anne Hathaway for luck20in20
19 x Kristen Stewart
51 x Supernatural (various episodes)



See the rest here at morbid_girls.

So there we go! The state of Erin for the past month! Hi!

Once upon a time I posted some icons of Jared Padalecki. The move kind of kiboshed me cross posting them so here they are now.

26 x Jared Padalecki icons (for luck20in20)



See the rest here at morbid_girls

Also, Community has been on for 9 minutes and it already wins everything at life.

( Something something life )

( 221 - The Sun Also Rises )

* 1280x720 caps
* Uploaded to my own personal site.
* Comment and credit if taking/using.
* The biggie- NO HOTLINKING. Don't be a bastard and make me replace my sample caps with a bright and gaudy "I'm a thief, ask me how!" message.
* DO NOT RE-UPLOAD THESE CAPS (OR ANY OF MY CAPS) TO FANPOP!!!!

TVD 221 set 1 (281 caps ~ 14.0MB) // TVD 221 set 2 (281 caps ~ 13.7MB) // TVD 219 set 3 (283 caps ~ 20.9MB) // gallery


( 221 - The Sun Also Rises )

I changed my name at places on the intarwebs so I thought I'd update and put my links out there for people so they know the new name is me or if you want to add me. I'm not particularly interesting on either but whatever.

Tumblr: summer--skin
Twitter: Summer__skin
Instagram (iPhone only?): Summer__Skin (seeing a trend here?)

A reminder that I'm offering icons/other graphics here at help_japan.

I haven't been posting very much this month. Partly because there haven't been any of my shows on to post about and partly because of RL. My living room was leaking the week before last because of all the snow that's melting. We're only starting our melting season, too, so I don't know what to think right now. I know I need to get out of here, though, because this place will be horrible once the bugs start coming and my landlord is pretty apathetic to the leaking other than trying to make sure it doesn't keep doing it. Like, he hasn't talked about trying to see WHY it's leaking or checking inside the walls for mold or if the electrical could be affected since that's where my TV/Blu-Ray/Computer are. Great.

Which brings me to a situation in which I ( Cry moar )

If you rea through all that CONGRATULATIONS! You win some icons!

30 x Misfits 2.07 icons (for misfits20in20)
20x Britney Spears (various music videos)




See all 50 here at morbid_girls.

My life just got so much more hectic. Work things are happening which is going to lay more stress on the remaining people in my department, on top of us going into this brutal time of year where I don't know if I'll be able to tell which way is up until Christmas. It's good money-wise but it's going to be fucking stressful.

As a result I told my second job I was giving my two weeks. My supervisor was really understanding and she even said that after Christmas, if things work out, maybe I could come back. So there's that. I think I really needed a break anyway as it's not something I was enjoying anymore. While I'm at my second job I'm THERE but all day at my real job I think about what time I need to leave and I get stressed that I might not have my work done in time to leave. It's a rush and I hate that because my real job is my JOB. And it's not like working 4 hours a week really benefits me anyway. Someone else can use that time, I'm sure. I just can't handle working more than once a week right now at my second job, not during holidays and not with this extra stress from my real job. I've been thinking about giving up the second job for a while, this was just the thing that pushed me over. And I'm leaving on good terms, so that's great.

So I've had some relief along with the stress. I have one shift left and then I'm done. Hooray. Now I just have to work on finishing packing and getting my life in order to move. I could really pack up in a day or so, if I had to, but I just have a lot of little things that I don't want to simply throw into boxes and then not find again. However, there's no real way to organize this stuff. I don't know. Wish I could just, like, saran wrap the stuff to my desk and move it that way. Hopefully I can move my two couches and two chairs (purchased for $100, baby!) tomorrow.

On a sadder note my mom had to put our dog down on Monday. She's been sick for a while (some people might remember a post I made last November about her being so sick I was worried she wouldn't make it through Christmas) and not eating but the vet prescribed some pills for her bladder (she was going all the time) and mom thought she was doing a bit better and I said that if the vet wasn't worried she wasn't eating all the time (she would sometimes, but not a lot) not to worry. But the next day, after we talked, mom went home at lunch to let her out and she'd pooed everywhere and there was blood in it. The vet thought her kidneys were shutting down so it was time. Mom was readying herself for the moment, because she knew it was coming soon, but for it to be this week is the worst. My mom finished her job in her department on Thursday and was starting on her full time temp position in another, lesser, position on Monday to tide her over until her layoff date in April. She'd had an emotional couple of months. :(

( Beale St. After Dark )

Oh, and hey!

hellcats_icons hellcats_icons hellcats_icons

* 1280x720 caps
* Uploaded to my own personal site.
* Comment and credit if taking/using.
* The biggie- NO HOTLINKING. Don't be a bastard and make me replace my sample caps with a bright and gaudy "I'm a thief, ask me how!" message.
* DO NOT RE-UPLOAD THESE CAPS (OR ANY OF MY CAPS) TO FANPOP!!!!

Hellcats 103 set 1 (264 caps ~ 21.1MB) // Hellcats 103 set 2 (264 caps ~ 19.1MB) // Hellcats 103 set 3 (264 caps ~ 20.6MB) // Hellcats 103 set 4 (265 caps ~ 21.2MB) // gallery

( Beale St. after Dark )

That quote? Line? Burst of inspiration? Was etched into the bottom of my memory box.

In high school I took all the art classes. In one of them we had a project to make a memory box. I'm very fortunate to have an uncle who is awesome at making anything, basically, and he fashioned me a very lovely ... wood of some kind box. It's has a slanted lid and a hinge and a place for a lock if I wanted & everything. It's just a small thing, about 12"x12" but it was exactly what I wanted. I painted a flower on the front and quotes from songs I found relevant at the time on the outside and on the inside I shellaced photos of friends and movie stubs and drama club things that were my whole world at that time.

The box is now filled with all my high school and early uni stuff. Photos and the wrist corsages from my prom & grad, cards, etc. Mementoes from my late childhood, early adulthood that meant something to me at the time.

I haven't been home in a couple years so of course I had to go through it. I don't really remember half the people I have photos of in it and drama is no longer a big thing in my life. The flowers on the corsages are brown and flaking off into the box and I don't even know why some of the things in the box were significant to me anymore.

The few uni things that are in there are things I put in the box because I wasn't really sure where else they should go but I wanted to save them. They're the "one of these things is not like the other" of the box. But that's where they remain because early uni was such a flux time in my life.

I've started a new memory box in Medicine Hat. It's bigger and I bought it for less than $10 at London Drugs. It's pink and feels like fake suede and if I ever trip into it or fall onto it or something it'll crumple like tissue. It's also filled with photos and movie stubs but when I look through the things in that box they have more ... memorable memories, I guess. They almost feel tangible.

Part of me really didn't want to go through my stuff here when I came home because there's so many things that bring back memories I don't want anymore. They helped form who I am now, yes, but even with all the time and space between then and now they make me uncomfortable. Some of them came up from looking into the memory box. But this time I feel calm after looking through it. I took some photos and video as I went through it because for some reason I don't know when the next time I'm going to be back here and when I'm going to see that stuff again.

I won't let my mom throw it out, no, but there's a good chance it might be anyway. She could move it to the basement or put it in the closet and then it'll get forgotten or she'll move (hope, hope, hope!) and it'll be one of those things that just doesn't get packed. I have other things I would rather have over it instead.

It's such a small box of small things; it would take up little room in a bigger box with other things or wouldn't cost much to ship back to the Hat but I've put it back on the shelf, and that's where it will stay. As I put it back I saw the quote in the bottom, etched in very clumsily by my 16 year old self, it felt okay.

This is the first time I can ever remember feeling like I WANT to go away from home again, where I'm not feeling a sense of dread and fear over leaving. I wish my mom could come with me, I wish she didn't have to stay here. I know this is the last time I'll see my dog again because she's in very poor health and her body is coming to a stop on her. I know that the next time I come here, whenever that is, I'm going to feel a very serious disconnect with the town, even moreso than I feel right now.

I fought against myself so hard to not allow myself to call anyplace home BUT home and then it just happened anyway. Not saying that Medicine Hat is where I'm going to lay my weary bones but I'm not defiantly against it anymore, either. I'll always be from New Brunswick, always be made fun of for the way I talk, always speak of my town and the area with pride. But now I'm okay to let some place else benefit from that dedication, too.