summer_skin | Entries tagged with life: health

I was just looking through my icon folder which, of course, has hundreds (literally) of unposted icons because I'm partly lazy and partly weird. Mostly lazy. But mostly weird.

Anyhoo. So I was checking the dates on some of them and the earliest one I found of the ones I checked was from JUNE of TWO-THOUSAND AND NINE. aokdhaoihaodihad.

SERIOUSLY?

That means I'm going to be posting some fucking old icons this week, I guess.

This icon is new, though. Damn, I enjoy making animated icons. Stupid size limits, though.

In other news I mandolin'd a good chunk of my thumb off Saturday night (mom said there was some "meat" to it) when I was slicing a sweet potato so now I'm kinda doing everything one-handed. I almost barfed yesterday while it was gushing (which isn't like me but I chalked up to just being in shock since it's a rather bad cut) but also this morning when mom changed the bandage for me and the reaction was even WORSE. She had to get me a chair and bucket, I had to close my eyes and I was sweating like a pig but my face felt like ice.

WTF, self?!

I haven't even properly washed it yet because I was scared it would start bleeding again today so that'll be my daring thing in the morning before I wake mom up to re-bandage me. Because I'm a pussy who needs her mommy. Also, it's hard to bandage yourself with one hand.

Current Mood: sore

Bought my first round of meds for my diabetes. I have a $50 deductible that gets paid at the start of the year so that kinda threw me for a loop when I saw the total. $107 and change. Luckily it's all claimable on taxes and all but jesus.

Speaking of the diabetes, it seems to be going okay. I'm trying to watch what I eat and I don't know if it's a placebo effect or if it really IS the meds but I find I DON'T want junky food as much. The doc said that the meds will help curb the desire, which is awesome. I'm still not eating as I SHOULD but I AM eating somewhat better. Yesterday my system had a bad reaction to a sub from Quiznos, though, so either it's the meds or my body has just had it with a lot of bread and such. It definitely wasn't something off with the sub since it passed through my system quickly so it wasn't food poisoning.

I'm having some trouble feeling satisfied without as much sugar. I'm a huge sugar fan (hi, it's why I'm in this mess, partially) so I have to find some things that are as good as sugar but aren't. Fruit is okay and I know some people are all- YAY, FRUIT! I don't need sugar! But I'm SO not. I like to put sugar ON my fruit. It's going to take some adjusting, for sure. But I don't WANT to be on the WHEE SUGAR! bandwagon. I so DON'T want to like it this much.

Overslept this morning, AGAIN. I don't know what to do to NOT sleep through my fucking alarms. It's not even a matter of putting one across the room, I have slept through ALL of them that I have set up. I have about 6, just to be clear. An alarm clock, a sleep tracker alarm on my phone and four more staggered phone alarms. The phone is right by my head so the sleep app can track my movements so it's right by my ear. Sometimes I DO wake up and turn them off, or accidentally fall back asleep after being awake but other times I simply sleep through all of them. It's been so bad that while I was napping a few weeks ago my alarm kept going off and my mom, who was also trying to nap upstairs, across the house, came down stairs and had to turn it off for me.

I don't know what's going to happen once we finally get winter here. We had a little bit of snow around the start of December and a few cold days but it's been CRAZY here for the past month or so. We've broken so many records because of the unseasonably warm temps. We had a couple chilly days this week but now it's going back up again. No snow, no frost on the windshields when we get up in the morning--I don't know what to think! Winter hasn't even started for us yet so it's fucking with my head and making me feel like it's more like spring. I'm in for a rude awakening once the weather finally catches up with the time of year it's SUPPOSED to be.

I think Mom and I are going to see "Joyful Noise" Saturday night. Cheesy as hell but I don't care. I like Queen Latifa and I like choir movies, surprisingly enough. And next week AD and I are going to see "Beauty and the Beast" in 3D!

( 111 - Fire/Ice )

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TSC 111 set 1 (382 caps ~ 27.3MB) // TSC 111 set 2 (382 caps ~ 25.6MB) // TSC 111 set 3 (384 caps ~ 21.7MB) // gallery

( 111 - Fire/Ice )

Current Mood: sleepy

This week was so weird! And now it's 2012 and I simply can't believe it. I honestly don't know where 2011 went.

I didn't get depressed AT ALL this year about the holidays! I'm usually quite bereft about the whole occasion, sentimental and all up in my head about stupid stuff but this year was so easy and casual and YAY. God bless my anti-depressants, seriously.

My cousin and his fiance came for the weekend and I think I warmed to her more this weekend than I have in the past few years combined. It's not that I didn't LIKE her but I have found her controlling and I haven't put much stock in their relationship, honestly. But this time around... I don't know. It felt different, something she even commented on at the end.

I went out Boxing day shopping and pretty much only picked up a buttload of blurays. Getting up so early, then sleeping until early afternoon once I came home fucked up my day and for the rest of it I almost felt hung over. The rest of the week passed by uneventfully, albeit quickly, at work.

I started training SS on pages and she did Monday's, so that was cool. My supervisor only talked about starting her training last week so I was like-- hey, let's get her trained for when CH comes back!

I had an appointment with the internal doctor or whatever the fuck he's called and he wasn't too concerned with the elevated white blood cells. He only had one other test prior to 2011 to refer to from 2008, I think, and that one ALSO had an elevated count so, personally, I'm thinking that's just the way I roll. He did, however, say I should continue taking a dose of iron a day because although my count has come back up it's on the low side of average. I'm just as happy to do that, honestly, because I was feeling pretty good on it, actually.

I also got an appointment with my clinic's RN and it was all about my glucose fasting and yes, I have type 2 diabetes (diabetus for you Wilford Brimley fans). The good thing, though, is that the med they started me on for it isn't the standard one, it's this injected thing that I take once a day and can help me lose weight! The way it was explained to me is that it's marketed as a diabetes drug right now but with further testing it could go on the market for weight loss, as well. Some people have tried it without altering their diet and have lost 25-ish lbs! I'm not relying on this as how I'm going to lose weight, but it will certainly help out! I refuse to let it be a way for me to get out of changing my diet and I definitely have to look into getting a gym membership. The doc even said that once I lose some weight there's a good chance I won't be diabetic any more so there's that, too!

I shit the bed on the last day of my Advent Calendar postings but in my defense WOW I ACTUALLY STAYED WITH IT TO THE ALMOST VERY END!!!

Day 1:

enablelove
Day 3:

fuckyeahshelly
Day 4:

jocosa
Day 6:

marcasite
Day 7:

hauntes
Day 8:

singingrl
Day 10:

medie
Day 12:

girlfmkitty
Day 13:

theladyoffaerie
Day 14:

kashmir1
Day 15:

on_the_ground
Day 17:

hushingupnow
Day 18:

ktnb
Day 20:

gee_mon
Day 21:

mancalahour
Day 23:

fictionalfaerie

( Fringe )

Current Mood: cold

My layout is different for the first time in FOREVER. It's a hot mess right now because I still have to frig with the colours and stuff but it's a good step toward a new look. I also have custom comment pages enabled WHICH I HATE but it's the only way the comment box looks like it used to. Sorry peeps, if you hate them as much as I do.

Went to the internist today and he ordered a buttload of blood tests to see if he can track down what's up with my elevated white blood cells. Going back to 2008 they were high so who knows? Right now they're on the slightly upper side of normal so he doesn't seem TOO concerned but if the numbers jump up he said he'd order a bone marrow test, yikes.

My glucose test did NOT come back well so in the New Year when I see my doctor I'll be more than prepared for a diagnosis of diabetes. For the meantime I'm going to enjoy the holiday and start looking at a gym membership.

Day 1:

enablelove
Day 3:

fuckyeahshelly
Day 4:

jocosa
Day 6:

marcasite
Day 7:

hauntes
Day 8:

singingrl
Day 10:

medie
Day 12:

girlfmkitty
Day 13:

theladyoffaerie
Day 14:

kashmir1
Day 15:

on_the_ground
Day 17:

hushingupnow
Day 18:

ktnb
Day 20:

gee_mon
Day 21:

mancalahour

( Disney and Avengers )

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Taylor Swift - Sparks Fly | Powered by Last.fm

More health stuff, of course. I saw my doc yesterday and he said my bloodwork from last week showed high sugar and a fourth consecutive elevated white blood cell count. He's referred me to an internist (internalist?) about the white blood cells and mentioned leukemia and cyto something cancer cells, I dunno. The only time I reacted was when he mentioned the possibility of a bone marrow sample cause ouch!

I had to get a glucose test today where they take your blood, you drink something akin to McDonalds orange drink and then sit around at the clinic for two hours, waiting for them to take more blood. I'm pretty prepared to hear I have diabetes, tbh. I'm relatively okay with that, too. Even though it's a serious illness I think it'll be the fire under my butt I need to smarten the fuck up about food and my weight and stuff.

I'm pretty sure, however, that I don't have cancer. I'm probably just one of those people that run with higher white blood cells. Or it's something else. But I'm like, 98% sure I don't have cancer. I'm not worried about it, at any rate. Nice to know my doctor's looking out for me, though! And because I'm his patient the person who books the specialist's appointments has already gotten me in because she's also his patient!

Onto happier things!

Day 1:

enablelove
Day 3:

fuckyeahshelly
Day 4:

jocosa
Day 6:

marcasite
Day 7:

hauntes
Day 8:

singingrl
Day 10:

medie
Day 12:

girlfmkitty
Day 13:

theladyoffaerie
Day 14:

kashmir1
Day 15:

on_the_ground
Day 17:

hushingupnow
Day 18:

ktnb

( Elena/Damon )

Current Mood: cold

Six months ago a day like today might have really bummed me out because it was hectic and it felt like I was going in a thousand directions at once. But I got my shit done and my boss is back tomorrow and I'm pretty okay. A couple things stuck with me that I didn't like but I'll get through them.

AD said I should call my bursts of frantic activity "meth moments" because I talk a mile a minute while moving in turbo speed and doing a billion things at once, usually all of a sudden. For instance today when I was stewing over one of the things that really stuck with me I decided to recycle all the overruns of shit we don't need, despite them having sat around for about six months. Done and done. I also put away the boogie boards that have been hanging around in our department since decorating in JULY. So that's something.

I'd prefer to not sleep until 7:30 when I have to be to work for 8am to OPEN THE PAPER, though. Yeah.

My Advent Calendar so far:

Day 1:

enablelove
Day 3:

fuckyeahshelly
Day 4:

jocosa

( Amy/11 )

Current Mood: have to pee
Current Music: Rihanna - Where Have You Been | Powered by Last.fm

My Advent calendar so far:

Day 1:

enablelove
Day 3:

fuckyeahshelly
Day 4:

jocosa

Only 20 days until Christmas, y'all. I can't believe it's coming so quickly! It will be here before we know it. I'm most excited to have a bazillion four day weeks coming up. This week I'm taking Friday off, then we get the 23rd off in lieu of the 25th, the 26th and the 2nd. Holy jeez.

I'm actually looking forward to January because that's when my benefits through work reset. Because of my physio I blow through my paramedical coverage in a heartbeat. I'm going to go to a chiropractor for the first time. There's this guy who's a stone's throw from the news who does this thing called TBM (Total Body Modification). My boss heard about it when she had to change chiros on account of hers getting charged, blah, blah, blah (it wasn't client-related, it was a personal matter that was dropped--neither here, nor there) and he told her that he could cure her allergies. She's got a couple wicked ones to eggs and her own sweat due to her hormones being fucked up.

This dude has cured people of celiac, peanut allergies, um... other stuff. It sounds SUPER hokey but it's totally true. My boss went last week to get "harmonized" (seriously, sounds fucking whacked) first and she was almost completely hive-free for the few days she was here before she left for Vegas for a marathon. She hasn't gone a day spot-free in years. This week she'll get officially treated for her allergies and from there she should be good to go.

AD is celiac and she's so excited to go on Wednesday to be treated. If this works she won't have to worry about avoiding so many foods! And even if she has to be treated like, once a year that's still AMAZING.

I want to go get harmonized more than anything, which is him fixing the "blown fuses" in your body. By moving your arms and legs and doing something akin to fluffing your hair he can tell if you're pre-diabetic or your ovaries don't work right or if your kidneys are okay--it's so fucking weird. Even though four people from my office have gone since last week and all reported the same things I'm still all- "Nuh uh! FUck off!"

But it's one thing to look forward to for January. And we all need a few of those, eh?

( 306 )

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* Comment and credit if taking/using.
* The biggie- NO HOTLINKING. Don't be a bastard and make me replace my sample caps with a bright and gaudy "I'm a thief, ask me how!" message.

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Misfits 306 set 1 (384 caps ~ MB) // Misfits 306 set 2 (384 caps ~ MB) // Misfits 306 set 3 (385 caps ~ MB) // gallery

( Misfits 306 )

Current Mood: good

First thing's first: Welcome new friends! Hopefully there will be more with this friending meme:

Join the Meme // My Thread

Just deleted my record settings for The Walking Dead. I just don't think I can with that show anymore, especially since I watched the whole first season and wasn't impressed at all.

Did some shopping today at Value Village, WOO! $52 for two blazers, a coat, two pairs of pants, two sweaters and a tank shirt thing. Oh, and face paint for my halloween costume. There's nothing better than shopping when you're in the mood and actually finding awesome stuff!

I'm also really trying to stay away from sugar. I'm just... not eating it. Well, that's a lie. I have some candy out of the vending machine at work and I've had a couple girl scout cookies but those are the only junkier sugars I've had. No ice cream, no chocolate bars, trying to stay away from juice, etc. I think if I can stay away from as much as possible for a few weeks it'll be easier to moderate myself overall when it comes to food.

I'm finding it incredibly hard to digest red meat these past few months so I'm trying to avoid that, as well. I'd like to get the sugar cravings under control and, if they arise, the desire for beef (ground beef I'm still going to eat but as much as possible I want to sub in ground chicken instead)), and then I'm going to go hard on the portion control of things. I overeat WAY too much so if I can get that under control as well I think I should be okay.

I just have to be sensible about it all and I'm slowly trying. If I can get my stupid money issues settled, too, (or at least on the right track) I might see about trying out some aquasize classes because I like swimming and it would be so much easier on my body.

Those are my Sunday night musings for now, I guess. Here's hoping this week is quick!

Current Mood: blank

TGIF, man. I feel like I've been so busy this week but I haven't had any time to do the work I HAVE to get done. It doesn't help that I'm exhausted and I've been changing meds like mad these past couple weeks.

I went for a massage last night, first one in quite a while and the first with the massage therapist I had a couple years ago (yay! I found her again!) and HOLY SHIT. I FUCKING HURT. I would LOVE to have a relaxation massage one of these days but I don't think I can justify the cost when I need to have therapeutic done.

But oh, man. Those sessions shouldn't be called massage. They should be called like... extreme muscle tenderzing sessions. I could barely move when I got up. I'm sitting with a heat pad against my back, trying to get the muscles to relax a bit, then I think I'll put some cold on it to try to tamp down the inflamation.

My mom also learned a hard lesson tonight. Always back your shit up in more than one place! She's taking an office technology certificate course and she's doing Simply Accounting right now, I THINK (honestly I don't get her schedule or what they're doing or anything so I'm always lost when she's rambling on about her course, usually in a taking to herself kind of way so there's no explanation). She has this project due tomorrow that she'd finished, all 21 pages of it (I don't know if that's 21 pages of actual work to turn in or a project based on 21 pages) but when she was trying to zip it for submission somehow she DELETED everything.

Yeah. So she's upstairs in the kitchen right now and she's re-doing it all. She's kind of zipping through it because now she's got more of a grasp on it than she did the first time around and she's got about 13 pages done in two hours. It sucks but it's a lesson she's learned but good.

I want to see some The Secret Circle now!

( 303 - The End of the Affair )

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* Comment and credit if taking/using.
* The biggie- NO HOTLINKING. Don't be a bastard and make me replace my sample caps with a bright and gaudy "I'm a thief, ask me how!" message.

* DO NOT RE-UPLOAD THESE CAPS (OR ANY OF MY CAPS) TO FANPOP!!!!

TVD 303 set 1 (312 caps ~ 18.6MB) // TVD 303 set 2 (312 caps ~ 18.0MB) // TVD 303 set 3 (313 caps ~ 17.0MB) // gallery

( 303 - The End of the Affair )

Current Mood: sore

Got the results of my MRI today. Nothing is permanently damaged in my back (which is good, although part of me wished there was SOMETHING so that it could be treated, you know? Chronic pain is just that, chronic, and it might never go away) althoughI do have some slightly bulged disks. Discs? Anyway, it's not enough to do anything about and they're not impinging on the nerve but the specialist said it could be the cause of my lower back and neck pain, which makes sense. So I'm NOT crazy in that respect.

So once my lawyer gets the info I would imagine that this will be the end of my file and we'll settle now, which is kind of nice, but at the same time I don't feel what I'm going to get will compensate for how I feel or what I've been going through. Obviously, I suppose. We'll see. Sad part is I'm mostly looking forward to being able to pay off my credit card. I SHOULD get enough for that, at least I hope. Fucking soft tissue caps.

ANYWAY. Work is work and it's motoring along for the week. I'm not really feeling it this week but tomorrow's hump day and then we're at the fucking end of SEPTEMBER! I still don't know where April went (which is funny every time I say it at work since A's name is April and she's all, "I'm here!" *waves hand* We have to make our own fun.) and now September has run off with it and they're probably partying it up in the land of forgotten time.

Other than that I've been working on a couple icon communities for The Secret Circle:

tsc_icons and

secretcirclegfx.

There might be a couple final touches to put on but they're pretty much open for posting! Next up I'm going to get an icon post together to submit FINALLY over at

rockstar_pink.

( Una Venta )

* 1280x720 caps
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* Comment and credit if taking/using.
* The biggie- NO HOTLINKING. Don't be a bastard and make me replace my sample caps with a bright and gaudy "I'm a thief, ask me how!" message.

* DO NOT RE-UPLOAD THESE CAPS (OR ANY OF MY CAPS) TO FANPOP!!!!

SOA 404 set 1 (276 caps ~ 28.5MB) // SOA 404 set 2 (277 caps ~ 25.2MB) // gallery

( 404 - Una Venta )

Current Mood: tired

I've been working on trying to formulate a new profile layout and possibly a new journal layout, which is pretty exciting.

My next goal after those things are sorted are to maybe make some new LJ friends. It turns out that not only am I rather inept at making friends in RL but online, as well. I don't remember how to connect to people anymore, especially since fandom was always a great equalizer and although I WANT to be involved in fandom(s) again, I don't know if I know how anymore.

Is this part of growing up/getting older?

Eh.

( Other health-related things )

Anyway. Just wanted to get that all out, and I feel a bit better right now. Going out for dinner and a comedy show tomorrow with a couple girls from work, which should be fun. I'm also not driving so I get to have a couple drinks (I rarely ever drive if I'm drinking, even if it's just one--especially now that I'm on my meds) without worry since Friday is CANADA DAY! Woo! A day off AND fireworks! SLEEEEEP.

Also! Reminder! New icons AND icon requests over here!!!

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Aimee Mann - Little Tornado | Powered by Last.fm

Pretty sure I'm getting sick. I don't feel so bad at this very moment but I woke up with a sore throat and I can feel it in my head, it's getting stuffy in there. When I get a cold I'm usually laid out for about week and often lose my voice so I have to take a few days off work. But my boss flew to Miami yesterday to run her first marathon (on her birthday on Sunday!) so I can't take any time off until Tuesday. If this cold develops, anyway, and if I don't get over it over the weekend. I kind of just want a couple days off, sick or not, lol.

( Boring work talk is boring. I just HAVE to get it out )

It's super warm here right now (yeah, so it's 6 celcius here. It's WARM, okay?! I went out without a coat today and it was PERFECT!) so all the stupid snow is melting but it's not going to stay warm enough for it all to melt or absorb anywhere so there are huge puddles and lots of slush and stupid shitty stuff everywhere. In two days it's supposed to freeze and snow again which means we'll have horrible sharp and bumpy ice on the roads and everywhere else, topped off by fresh snow that will just be uselessly plowed off the roads so there's ice again. As it is half of the right lane in the double lane roads are filled from the snowbanks so two cars can't drive side-by-side safely. Think you might want to fucking PLOW that, town? No? Okay, we'll just continue to drive carefully and pray no one gets killed. Thanks.

Sorry. Apparently I have some rant built up in my head right now.

I'm going to watch Community right after I post this and then I'm going the frick to bed.

Also, my cat pissed on my pjs yesterday. I'm pretty sure she was pissed and/or scared because my landlord came in here yesterday to check my ceiling to see if it was leaking once he tested stuff upstairs. So I put on my pjs last night and was like--huh, they're damp and there's a funny smell. So I figured out the cat pissed on my pjs. The end.

( 212 - The Descent )

* 1280x720 caps
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TVD 212 set 1 (288 caps ~ 17.3MB) // TVD 212 set 1 (288 caps ~ 17.8MB) // TVD 212 set 1 (289 caps ~ 17.6MB) // gallery

( 212 - Descent )

Current Mood: tired

I guess I'm having a board games night this weekend? I haven't had anyone over yet, really, and I think I've figured out that it's because before when I was living with my family I had separate areas I could host people in that wasn't MY area. Now this whole apartment is my area and I'm very territorial, which I don't like to be, but I am. So to invite people into this area that is all my living space, rather than before when it was an area I used but didn't necessarily think of as MINE, is a little unsettling, I guess. Ah, self-discovery.

I've been in quite a bit of pain in the past couple of days. Probably the worst I've felt since the accident? Which isnt' to say the pain is HORRIBLE but it's been persistant and in my bones/joints, going down my arms, cramping in my neck, etc. And I seriously have NO idea what's triggered this. The weather's been a bit up and down but nothing extreme and it hasn't been humid or moist, like when it rains, so I don't know if that's a factor. When the temps plunged a couple weeks ago I didn't feel like this but now I've been aching from my shoulders to between my fingers for four days. And even into my legs. It's pathetic.

So I've made another appointment with my doctor, who I feel has somewhat washed his hands of my situation and can't offer me anything else, to see if he can say anything. Also to get anti-depressants or something. I'd like either a prescription for something or a recommendation for a rhermatologist? Maybe? My physiotherpist has brought up that I should look into having someone see if I have something like .... uh, something I can't remember the name of? Not that I have THAT but perhaps the accident and this pain has triggered my body into... something? I don't know. It made sense when she said it.

I don't think I'm capping Hellcats anymore. I missed the last new episode before last night and last night didn't impress me THAT much. We'll see how it goes in the new year when it comes back.

I'm going to watch Community now and wait for a The Vampire Diaries download now and post those caps in a few hours.

( 204 )

* 1280x720 caps
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* Comment and credit if taking/using.
* The biggie- NO HOTLINKING. Don't be a bastard and make me replace my sample caps with a bright and gaudy "I'm a thief, ask me how!" message.

* DO NOT RE-UPLOAD THESE CAPS (OR ANY OF MY CAPS) TO FANPOP!!!!

Misfits 204 set 1 (336 caps ~ 28.7MB) // Misfits 204 set 2 (336 caps ~ 26.3MB) // Misfits 204 set 3 (336 caps ~ 25.7MB) // Misfits 204 set 4 (331 caps ~ 25.8MB) // gallery

( Misfits 204 )

Today was a busy day for me and at the end of the day it felt like a year since the start of it. Which isn't to say it dragged on, but there was SO much happening. Work is pretty busy, it was the day before a day off in the middle of the week (Remembrance Day) so there were two papers to get ready instead of one but I missed a lot of that because I had a doctor's appointment in the middle of the morning and then physio a half hour after so by the time I came back for the afternoon I had to catch up on email and that kept me quite busy. No time for telemarketing, which is SO going to kick me in the ass soon.

Doesn't help that my supervisor had a shitty morning, too, which I wasn't there for, but apparently involved a call with her husband that she took in the lunch room, yelling, the word 'divorce' and her crying. I don't even know. I didn't ask about it (for a couple reasons, one being that it's not my place to ask, really, and the second being that she's... eh, I don't want to get into explaining it here--it's just not my place to ask).

( Mental health talk )

Maybe I'll go hang out at my family's house tomorrow or take a walk or something. I don't feel like I'm in the right headspace but it's like I'm not in TOTAL depressive mode. I'm kind of teetering on the edge but right now I'm still in the area where I just don't care so everything slides on by, just piling up, until I explode and things get messy.

It's not the best time for me to be going through this, for sure.

( Finish What we Started )

* 1280x720 caps
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* Comment and credit if taking/using.
* The biggie- NO HOTLINKING. Don't be a bastard and make me replace my sample caps with a bright and gaudy "I'm a thief, ask me how!" message.

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Hellcats 109 set 1 (257 caps ~ MB) // Hellcats 109 set 2 (257 caps ~ MB) // Hellcats 109 set 3 (257 caps ~ MB) // Hellcats 109 set 4 (257 caps ~ MB) // gallery

( Finish What we Started )

I leave for NYC in a little over TWO DAYS! In 53-ish hours, to be exact! The closer we get the more jazzed I am! I keep gleeing over all the knock-off purses I want to come back with. And, who knows, if the price is right maybe I'll find myself with a real Coach bag. I'm mostly looking forward to the shopping, to be totally honest. I just want to splurge and buy stuff, as materialistic as that sounds.

Does anyone know of a website or a way to find out what TV shows or movies are filming in NYC? I'd like to see if I could work in watching Gossip Girl filming while I'm there because I'd LOOOOVE to see Katie!

( Weight update and things )

I think I'm going to try to be more open about my therapy and the things I talk about with her along with the weight loss since it's all mixed in together and adds up to be one bigger problem. Hiding it and keeping it behind flock will only keep with the idea that I need to be secretive with the fact that I'm having emotional problems that other people have and are going through, too.

I want to try to be more proactive and forthcoming with those emotions and post about them more often, rather than when I finally realize that it's been awhile and I said I would. I need to see this as a chance to keep myself in check.

( Trouble )

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( Trouble )

Current Mood: calm

Someone has posted something on my flist that is streeeeeetccchhhiiinnnnnggggg it but I can't ID what or who it is. Often times someone has posted something like EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE only stretched a bazillion times longer and my layout just accomodates shit like that like it's an every day thing. Not cool, layout. Not cool. So I have to wait for whatever post it was to move its way down and onto the next page.

Eating and weight issues aside I've been beseiged with feelings lately. I've been very emotional, up and down, and it's been so draining. I'm not sure why or what's causing it. Usually I can say, "okay, I'm tired and I'm stressed and that's why I'm reacting the way I am" or whatever, I cry or give myself a stern talking to and I'm over it.

I've been very stressed this week with work and just.... other things and I've been kind of on the verge of being able to cry but I haven't gotten there yet. I'm avoiding that, as well, to a point and I don't know. It'll make me feel better but I think part of me is resisting for when I really, really need it. Because I don't think the worst has come just yet. Part of me thinks that I'm falling into a bit of depression again and that scares me.

I think my whole life right now is tired. I don't feel very much like I fit in anywhere, I don't particularly like my job right now, I'm stuck in a bit of a rut creatively and in pretty much every other way. There are lots of things I want to do right now but when it comes time to do it I'm very unmotivated.

I'm excited for New York but at the same time some of the excitement feels a bit forced.

I don't even know anymore. I need a change, for sure, but I'm not sure when it's coming or what it is. It's coming but I need to push through this crap in my head first.

So, in conclusion, please stop stretching out my layout, random post on my flist.

Current Mood: confused

All right. So it's been about five days since I admitted to myself and other people that I'm a food addict. I was surprised at how many comments I got on the post, especially from people I don't think I've ever talked to. I'm happy about that and I really feel it'll help keep me accountable. Here's hoping it'll keep going like this!

( Update! )

so there's the state of things right now. I'll update again in a few days with how I continue to do.

Current Mood: okay

At first I was going to filter this, and then I was just going to post it to my friends list but I don't know if that's the best way to enter this new part of my life and health so here it is. The most public private post I might ever make.

I haven't always struggled with my weight. I mean, when I was younger I was a little chubby and thought I was bigger than every one else, of course, but this is the biggest I've ever been in my life so I'd give anything to have the body I had in HS or early university. I started getting out of control in my 1st year, when I gained the frosh THIRTY. But I lost a lot of weight in the next couple of years thanks to meals prepared at the caf and a free gym (oh, to be a full time student again).

This post is about where I am with my weight, my health, my mental view of everything and some revelations I've made on the issue. I want to take this seriously. I want to do something about this because I hate feeling like this.

Read if you want, comments are appreciated. I'd like to be as open as possible in this forum where I've spoken about my life over the past seven years.

( Long post under the cut, a bit disjointed at first )

I'm unsure of where to go next as far as how to approach this. I have made resolutions to myself in the past that I won't eat any more junk and I would exercise and do this and that but this time I HAVE to do it. I have to finally grab hold of myself and snap the fuck out of it. I would like to say I'm going to post often with updates but I don't know if I will commit to that. I will try, though, because I think there are other people on my flist that would be supportive and have awesome advice. If I'm going to give this a good go I have to be accountable for myself. So I will try.

Current Mood: nervous

love meme

--> I finally have my splint for my jaw from my accident(s) that happened over a year and a little under a year. It's weird. It's what I imagine one of those football things is like so the players don't lose their teeth, except not.

--> I have left

spnnewsletter after almost four and a half years. It feels weird. But since I'm not in the fandom it was the right thing to do.

--> Conversely I have posted the newest edition at

tvdnewsletter. I also joined

cw_land. First time I've ever done one of those challenges. We'll see. We'll see.

--> I have plywood for windows right now. 'Tis very dark. The apocalypse could happen outside and I'd never know. Until I went to pee or something. But STILL. It's the principle of the matter!

--> Might get my eyebrow pierced again tomorrow? We'll see. We'll see.

--> New York grows ever closer. EVER FUCKING CLOSER.

--> I'm in love with Wakey! Wakey! right now. His album is the first I've bought in.... two years? Three?

--> Time for bed. So happy it's the end of the week, even though this week has actually gone by relatively painlessly.

Current Mood: blank
Current Music: Wakey!Wakey! - Got It All Wrong | Powered by Last.fm

Finally going to see The Runaways this weekend. It didn't get released at the main theatre so we had to wait for it to come to the small, independant one that's run by douchey people, apparently.

Started walking this week to try and get a little more strength into my muscles and get my back and body used to walking again. I have two months to try and get through the pain and get used to moving so much for New York. We're going to be walking and on our feet a lot during our trip and I DO NOT want to have to spend every other day like a crappy, achy bitch because of my back. Not that I want to spend my normal days like that, either, but I'm going to be in NYC, baby!

I might tune into the finale of Supernatural just to see what's up. I haven't watched since ... February? Maybe.

So like, the One Tree Hill promos are being advertised for the SEASON finale but is anyone getting a decidedly SERIES finale vibe from it? I'd like to see it end if only to let Sophia Bush spread her wings in another series and to allow some other show to get an edge on the crazy nanny/crazy wannabe-girlfriend/crazy familial unit market.

( 122 - Founder's Day )

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* Comment and credit if taking/using.
* The biggie- NO HOTLINKING. Don't be a bastard and make me replace my sample caps with a bright and gaudy "I'm a thief, ask me how!" message.

* DO NOT RE-UPLOAD THESE CAPS (OR ANY OF MY CAPS) TO FANPOP!!!!

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( 122 - Founder's Day )

Current Mood: impressed

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and we frolicked about

Entries tagged with life: health

Riiiight

Caps: The Secret Circle 111 "Fire/Ice" (1148), 1280x720, review & picspam

Advent Calendar Day 20: obeetaybee & other stuff from 2011

Advent Calendar Day 23: fictionalfaerie

Advent Calendar Day 20: gee_mon

Advent Calendar Day 6: marcasite

Caps: Misfits 306 (1153), 1280x720, review & picspam

Hey Y'all

Caps: The Vampire Diaries 303 "The End of the Affair" (937), 1280x720, review & picspam

Caps: Sons of Anarchy 404 "Una Venta" (553), 1280x720, review & picspam

Trying to do this update thing

Caps: The Vampire Diaries 212 "The Descent" (865), 1280x720, review & picspam

Caps: Misfits 204 (1339), 1280x720, review & picspam

Caps: Hellcats 109 "Finish What We Started" (1028), 1280x720, review & picspam

Caps: True Blood 305 "Trouble" (1158), 1280x720, review & picspam

grrr, argh

Hello, I'm an update

i r srs post

Well hello there

Caps: The Vampire Diaries 122 "Founder's Day" (1448), 1280x720, review & picspam

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December 2012

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